I Don't have to Iron the Napkins --- Really I Don't
I was brought up to set a nice table for guests. You used a white or off white tablecloth. You used the good china. You used the good silver. The tablecloth and napkins were ironed -- if not by the French Laundry then by Mom. The china sparkled. The silver was polished and touched up if there was any tarnish discovered when the table was set.
So a couple of times I've had friends over for dinner in the dining room. I used a washable tablecloth that didn't need ironing -- boy was that hard to do. Breaking all that training. I did use napkins which had been ironed. I did use the silver and polished it/touched it up. I did use the good china.
In the modern world time flies so fast I don't have time to spot, wash, partially dry, and then iron a tablecloth. It means I would need to find 3-4 hours of time that I wasn't focused on other things. Once in a blue moon I do the whole bit, but if I want to do more entertaining I need to give myself permission to do it less formally.
I can use the placemats and napkins that just get thrown in the washing machine and dryer -- and don't need to be ironed. I can use the kitchen table (a very nice redwood table) and have friends in the kitchen for dinner. I can use the kitchen china - which is very nice vintage Spode and not get out the Minton or the Lenox. I can use the nice stainless or the silverplate - I don't need to get out the sterling silver. I can use fun glassware and it doesn't need to match. I DO need to set a nice table and be a good hostess by making my friends comfortable (and of course well fed).
I am not less by doing it differently. Times change and "casual" is just fine. Boy is that a hard lesson.